"A life with regret is no life at all."

So I went away for the weekend to visit my cousin out in the Millersburg.  It's 5 hrs away in the middle of nowhere and I had a BLAST.  It so nice to get away from my problems and dive into someone elses.  Plus its so quiet and relaxing and different, I loved it.  Not to mention my cousin is great and her friends are the best.  All of this just makes me realize how badly I want to graduate.

Well I finally realized that the guy I've had a thing for for a while is too much of a whimp for me... so he's out.  I want a guy who's strong and will protect me.  Yeah, so with the guy, I don't know how to tell him I just wanna be friends cuz we were kinda heading for something more.  So I've just been avoiding him AT ALL COST.  Guys are so much trouble.  

Yea, so I have to work tonight... actually I have to leave in like a half an hour.  I REALLY don't want to go.  Work sucks I hate all the ungrateful customers and working til midnight every f*ing Friday night!!!!!  I love the people to death, but I can't stand my job.  <sigh>  O well... money is money.  Tomorrow isn't gonna be much better either, I have so much shit to do.  I can't wait til Sunday, whoa that's different.  Sunday will be nice a relaxing.  So that's what is pissing me off today.

Seems that in life we're always trying to pursue something, never being happy with the way things are and how WE are.  Most of the time it's some random unattainable dream, but when we lose it... it hurts all that much more.  Why can't we just be happy staying still?  Well i'll tell you... life is more fun when you move forward.  If you have nothing you want, then you have nothing to live for right?  And in that case why bother waking up everyday?  Life would just be boring without the crap that pushes us twenty steps backwards.  So here's to the shit we put up with everyday that makes life just so interesting and ever changing.

Wow what an interesting day.  How about, I fell flat on my ass before first period.  Then got up laughing.  Then I slid at least a dozen more times during the day.  It was INSANE.  Not to mention:  I GOT ACCEPTED TO COLLEGE!!!!!!!!  I'm soo thrilled.  I can finally stop caring about school and I couldn't be happier.  What a random day.

Ok people, need some help here... guys are a complete mystery.  If you give a guy all the signs you wanna kiss him and your even in the "right moment" why doesn't he kiss you?  It doesn't make sense... aren't most guys so confident that they'd just jump into that stuff?  Plus I don't care what any guy says... we girls give good signals you just don't look close enough.  Jeez. 

OMG... I had a REALLY good day, it was insane.  Let's see to start out the one stop light that is ALWAYS red on the way to school in the morning was green (small victories, I know-lol).  I actually remembered my drink for first period and didn't lose my transcript request form.  Then during the day EVERYONE was in a good mood and that made me sooooooooooo happy.  Even the girl that absolutely despises me was just the sweetest thing.  Then before swimming my guy friend was being like really annoying, but funny and playful too, so that made me happy-lol.  AND THEN, at diving I finally got three back dives in a row!!  And to top it all off I saw the guy I'm currently having a crush on, twice today at rare times.  All of these circumstances just made for a really really good Monday, for once.

I never dove in my life, but this year I decided to try it.  My reason is kinda crazy... I dreamed I was on the team, so I joined.  Insane right?  Well I couldn't be happier... I love it.  It's terrifying and thrilling.  But also so relaxing.  This is the first time I've been truly happy with the activity I've chosen.  Sure, it kills to fall... I already have bruises up and down my legs, but the feeling when you do something right or even just try something new is AMAZING.  I couldn't ask for more.

So this week I started conditioning for swimming and diving.  Well with a new swim season comes new boys.  So there's this guy, only problem is he's the friend of my guy friend.  Now, it's not that I think my friend cares, because he has a girlfriend and all that sort of thing.  I just feel kind of bad, because I don't want him to feel like I'm using him for his friend.  I'm not.  My guy friend is my guy friend and will always be and his friend, I just happen to have a little thing for.  Is this wrong?